guestronpa | NOW HE'S FINALLY HERE PERFORMING FOR YOU, IF YOU KNOW THE WORDS YOU CAN JOIN IN TOO

[As the campers filter into the Mess Hall, things seem a little quiet. Quiet as a cliche, in fact -- there’s no way that silence can’t be ominous, especially given the near-omnipresence of music practically everywhere else. Though, as time ticks ever closer to the 8 o’clock mark, some muffled music can be heard in the distance…

And then… A CHALLENGER APPEARS, floating down on some weird glowy platform that disappears in a few seconds. The plush bear lands in an extremely cool manner and then strikes an authoritative stance as the music amps up.]

Teeen hut! When Coach Monobear speaks, you listen! Welcome to the Hope’s Peak Training Camp, where you bastards will be spending the next… oh, however long! You glowing gaggle of go-getters have been selected as the the cream of the crop, the top dogs in your respective fields! And that’s why you’ve been invited to participate in the most smashing tournament of all!

See… punches and punts are a little passe. There’s no art to it! No class! Nothing worth the ridiculous amount of money Hope’s Peak is pouring into this shindig, anyway! So this tournament’s gonna be a little different than your standard knockout-fest.

Instead of going through some elimination bracket or a round robin, you’ll be living a communal life in this camp! Like I said, we’re spending oodles of cash on this place, so you’re never gonna have to worry about the essentials -- actually, you’ll even be able to taste the culinary stylings of your ever-so-talented Coach!

...But you see, this still is a tournament, and this is definitely the biggest of the big leagues! See, if you want to become the champion oooor you just want this communal training life to end so you can go back to your normal life…

[SHINK go the claws, like some bizarre plushie Wolverine.]

...you’ve gotta murder another camper! Drowning, burning, poisonous smells, carving, shredding, shotgun shells! You might get points for creativity, but however you get the job done will work!

Now, any questions?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Really, now? Because I would wager you have a very different reason.

You're a coward. A coward who knows he would be torn asunder in the blink of an eye if we were at our full strength.

Mmmmmmnah. I'm pretty sure I could take all you bozos even if I was at 300 percent!

...I mean, I'm rigged with explosives and I have infinite lives, and I can get swole at any moment!

Well then, by all means. Drop your nullification spells and I will be more than pleased to take on your wily parlor tricks and give you a personal, all-expenses paid first class trip to the moon myself. What do you say?

Hear hear! What fun's a tournament if we can't really show our stuff?

I already said it's not that kind of tournament! This is exactly why I took you lazy bozos' powers in the first place -- it'd strip you of all your creativity and all you'd do is flashy stuff!

But if being entertained is your goal, wouldn't "flashy stuff" be better?

[maybe they can trick this stupid bear thing]

...He's clearly not going to change his mind. Why are you bozos even bothering.

No one can say we didn't exhaust all the possibilities. [because sometimes flattery can get you everywhere]

It's stupid.

[a wry smile] Like this entire situation? [not much more stupid than a talking plush bear that explodes]

You're trying to negotiate with someone who is clearly not interested. Given the stupid wisecracks we keep getting. It's insanity.

[an exasperated sigh] I know. I know.

I would hope so.

So be it then.

But please be advised that deceits like this don't last forever. As soon as your spells wear off I will not hesitate to show you and your so called "infinite lives" zero mercy.

...Even if you are quite adorable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All I heard in that mess was the bit about me being adorable. So thanks for that one, hat!

Shame you ruin it once you open your mouth though.

[rudest bear of them all]

Hey, the feeling is mutual, missy! You'd be better off just staying as eye candy!

Actually, I think I prefer it when she talks.

Yeah, and I prefer it when you bastards aren't questioning your Coach! But we can't all have what we want!

...Well, I can!

You're the one who asked if we had any questions, you know. Indecisive much?

I asked for questions, but I didn't give you permission to backsass your coach!

(no subject)

superstylishschism - 2015-09-30 18:08 (UTC) - Expand

[THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT BRO

HAVE A SMILE THAT IS LESS UNSETTLING THAN ALL THE OTHER ONES]

[Thumbs up! And an encouraging smile in return.]

Mm?

Ah, my apologies. I have no more use for you, so I was tuning you out just now.

As long as you start murdering sometime soon, sis, I don't got no complaints about who you turn out!